This brief pulls together statistics on coming out: when people realize and when they tell someone, family, work, school, doctors, money, trans and nonbinary experiences, each sexuality, race and religion, mental health, later life, and the rest of the world. Every number is linked to its source. Where sources disagree or a common figure is shaky, the section "How to read these numbers" explains why.
Ten numbers to lead with
96%
of LGBTQ adults in the U.S. have told at least one person.
Pew Research Center, 2025
82%
first felt they might be LGBTQ before age 18. 58% felt it before 14.
Pew, 2025
17 / 22 / 26
Typical age of first coming out to family for the youngest, middle and oldest LGB generations.
Williams Institute, 2018
23%
of LGBTQ adults are not out to their parents or the people who raised them.
Pew, 2025
47% vs 13%
of bisexual adults vs gay and lesbian adults aren't out to anyone in their extended family.
Pew, 2025
46%
of LGBTQ employees are not out to their own supervisor.
Williams Institute, 2024
94%
of trans people who have lived in their gender say they're more satisfied with life.
U.S. Transgender Survey, 2022
7% vs 18%
Suicide attempt rate for trans and nonbinary youth whose household respects their pronouns, vs. where no one does.
Trevor Project, 2025 survey
43%
of LGBTQ+ young people haven't told their own doctor.
Trevor Project, 2025 survey
74%
of LGBTQ+ investors would be more interested in working with an LGBTQ+ financial planner.
CFP Board, 2023
When people know, and when they tell
Most people know long before they say anything. The gap between knowing and telling is where a lot of the weight of coming out lives.
96%
of LGBTQ adults have told at least one person. 3% have told no one.
Pew Research Center, 2025 (n=3,959, fielded Jan 2025)
82%
first felt they might be LGBTQ before 18, and 58% before 14. Before 14 by group: 71% of gay or lesbian adults, 50% of bisexual adults and 58% of transgender adults.
43%
had told someone before 18. 34% first told someone at 18 to 24, and about 17% at 25 or older.
Pew, 2025 (topline)
12 → 20
In 2013 the typical (median) LGB adult first felt they might not be straight at 12, knew for sure at 17 and first told someone at 20. Gay men: 10, 15 and 18. Lesbians: 13, 18 and 21. Bisexuals: 13, 17 and 20.
Pew, A Survey of LGBT Americans, 2013 (n=1,197)
78% / 53%
of gay men vs lesbians first felt they might be gay at 13 or younger. Among bisexual adults, women were more likely than men to first sense it by 13 (53% vs 39%).
Pew, 2025
8%
didn't know for sure until age 30 or older, and 6% said they still weren't entirely sure.
Pew, 2013
58% / 16%
of trans adults first felt they might be transgender before 14, but only 16% had told anyone by that age.
Pew, 2025
Each generation comes out sooner
17 / 22 / 26
Average age of first coming out to a family member for LGB adults who were then 18 to 25, 34 to 41 and 52 to 59. Age at first identifying as LGB: about 14, 16 and 18.
Williams Institute, Coming Out Milestones in the US, 2018 (Generations study, national probability sample)
49% vs 24%
of LGBTQ adults under 50 came out before 18, vs those 50 and older. Among gay and lesbian adults, it's 67% of those under 30 vs 24% of those 60 and older.
Pew, 2025
9%
of U.S. adults identify as LGBTQ+, up from 3.5% in 2012. That includes 23% of adults under 30 and 10% of those 30 to 49.
Gallup, Feb 2026 (2025 data, n=13,454)
22.7%
of Gen Z adults identified as LGBTQ+ in 2023 to 2024, compared with 12.0% of millennials and 4.8% of Gen X. 31% of Gen Z women vs 12% of Gen Z men.
17%
of Gen Z across 26 countries identify as LGBT+, compared with 11% of millennials, 6% of Gen X and 5% of boomers.
Ipsos Pride Survey, 2024 (n=18,515, online)
Family
Telling family is usually the hardest step, and it rarely ends the relationship.
Who knows
86%
had told a close friend, 56% had told their mother and 39% had told their father. Friends usually come first.
Pew, 2013
65% / 59%
of those with siblings had told a sister and a brother.
Pew, 2013
23%
of LGBTQ adults today are not out to their parents. 18% aren't out to siblings and 32% aren't out to extended family. Only 5% aren't out to any friends.
Pew, 2025
How it goes
59% / 65%
said telling their mother and their father was difficult.
Pew, 2013
39% / 14%
said their relationship with their mother got stronger vs weaker after telling her. 46% said nothing changed. With fathers: 32% stronger, 13% weaker.
Pew, 2013
39%
had been rejected by a family member or close friend at some point because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Who accepts it fully
This table shows, among people who came out to each group, the share who say all of them have been accepting.
| Group | All LGBTQ | Gay / lesbian | Bisexual | Transgender |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Siblings | 69% | 74% | 65% | 58% |
| Friends | 61% | 65% | 57% | 58% |
| Parents | 46% | 52% | 44% | 31% |
| Co-workers | 45% | 50% | 45% | 24% |
| Extended family | 27% | 33% | 23% | 11% |
Differences by sexuality and gender
Bisexual people make up the majority of LGBTQ+ adults, and they're the least likely to be out.
56%
of LGBTQ+ adults are bisexual, or 5.2% of all U.S. adults. 59% of LGBTQ+ Gen Z adults are bisexual. Gallup's 2025 update says bisexual people remain "more than half."
Gallup, 2025 and 2026
77 / 71 / 28
Percent of gay men, lesbians and bisexuals who said all or most of the important people in their life knew. Among bisexuals it was 33% of women and 12% of men.
Pew, 2013
47% vs 13%
of bisexual vs gay and lesbian adults aren't out to any extended family. 35% of bisexual adults aren't out to their parents, vs 8% of gay and lesbian adults.
Pew, 2025
40% / 24%
of bisexuals had told their mother and their father, compared with 70% and 53% of gay men. Bisexual women vs men: 47% vs 22% had told their mother.
Pew, 2013
50% vs 24%
of bisexual women vs bisexual men came out to someone before 18.
Pew, 2025
89%
of partnered bisexual adults say their spouse or partner knows they're bisexual.
Pew, 2025 (topline)
49%
of asexual people in the UK weren't out to any colleagues, vs 18% of LGBTQ+ respondents overall.
Trans and nonbinary people
0.8%
of U.S. adults (over 2.1 million people) and 3.3% of youth 13 to 17 (about 724,000) identify as transgender. A third of trans adults identify as nonbinary.
32%
of trans adults began to understand their gender was different from their sex at birth at age 10 or younger. 66% understood before 18.
KFF / Washington Post Trans Survey, 2023 (n=515, probability-based)
94%
of respondents who have lived at least some of the time in a different gender say they're more satisfied with their life (79% "a lot"). For people on hormone therapy it's 98%, and for people who had gender-affirming surgery it's 97%.
2022 U.S. Transgender Survey, Early Insights, 2024 (n=92,329)
78%
of trans adults in a probability-based survey say living as a different gender made them more satisfied with life, including 45% who say "a lot more."
KFF / Washington Post, 2023
14%
of trans adults haven't come out to any family member or friend. 68% have told at least some immediate family.
KFF / Washington Post, 2023
67%
of trans adults whose immediate family knows say the family is supportive or very supportive. 12% say unsupportive. Among 16 and 17 year olds it's 44% supportive and 29% unsupportive.
USTS 2022, Early Insights
8% / 11%
of trans adults were kicked out of the house, or had a family member be violent toward them, because they were transgender.
USTS 2022, Early Insights
50%
said all of their healthcare providers knew they were trans in 2022, up from 40% in 2015.
0.36%
of people who transitioned went back because they felt transition wasn't for them. Of the 9% who ever went back for any reason, most said it was because of outside pressure.
USTS 2022, Health and Wellbeing
Work
Being out at work is rarely a single announcement. People decide again with every new manager, client and team.
46%
of LGBTQ employees aren't out to their current supervisor, and 21% aren't out to any co-workers.
Williams Institute, 2024 (n=1,902, fielded 2023)
58%
"cover" at their current job: 36% avoid talking about their social life, 29% avoid mentioning a partner or family and 24% don't display family photos.
Williams Institute, 2024
40% vs 20%
of trans and nonbinary workers vs cisgender LGBQ workers changed their voice or mannerisms at work to avoid discrimination.
Williams Institute, 2024
33%
have left a job because of how their employer treated them. 47% have faced discrimination or harassment at work at some point (55% of trans and nonbinary employees).
Williams Institute, 2024
25%
of bisexual employees aren't out to anyone at work, compared with 15% of gay men and 9% of lesbians.
Williams Institute, 2024
81 / 69 / 48
Percent of LGBTQ+ workers who are out to their direct team, their supervisor and HR. The further up the org chart, the fewer people know.
HRC Foundation, Equality Rising, 2023 (opt-in, n=2,002 LGBTQ+)
46%
of LGBTQ+ workers were closeted at work in 2018. The top reasons: fear of being stereotyped (38%) and of making people uncomfortable (36%).
43%
are comfortable being out about their sexual orientation with everyone at work. 37% of people who are only partly out are comfortable telling their direct manager.
Deloitte, LGBT+ Inclusion @ Work, 2023 (13 countries, n=5,474)
1 in 3
are actively looking for a more LGBT+ inclusive employer.
Deloitte, 2023
83%
of lesbian, gay and bisexual workers "cover" in some way at work, compared with 61% of all workers.
Yoshino and Smith, Uncovering Talent, Deloitte, 2013
11%
of trans people who have ever held a job were fired, forced to resign or let go because of their gender identity or expression.
USTS 2022, Early Insights
School and college
2 in 3
LGBTQ+ students felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or expression. 86% of trans and gender-expansive students avoided certain parts of school.
Glisten (formerly GLSEN), 2025 National School Climate Survey, 2026 (n=2,800)
52% / 45%
of gay and lesbian vs bisexual students were out to most or all of their peers. Fewer were out to staff: 29% and 21%.
GLSEN, 2021 National School Climate Survey (n=22,298)
60%
of students who reported harassment said staff did nothing or told them to ignore it. Most students (62%) never reported it.
GLSEN, 2021
24% vs 36%
of students with a GSA vs without one missed school because they felt unsafe. Only 35% of students had an active GSA.
GLSEN, 2021
20% vs 42%
missed school when they had 11 or more supportive staff, vs 5 or fewer.
GLSEN, 2021
85%
of LGBTQ+ young people in school have at least one supportive adult there. Suicide attempts were 8% in supportive schools vs 13% in unsupportive ones.
Trevor Project, 2025 survey (n=16,667)
29% vs 16%
of LGBTQ+ high schoolers vs cisgender heterosexual students were bullied at school.
60%
of LGBTQ students at four-year colleges weren't out to any faculty or staff, and 37% weren't out to any other students.
Doctors and healthcare
Coming out to a provider is a coming out too, and many people skip it or skip the visit altogether.
43%
of LGBTQ+ young people with a primary care provider haven't told them they're LGBTQ+. Among ages 13 to 17 it's 56%.
Trevor Project, 2025 survey
33% vs 15%
of LGBT vs non-LGBT adults were treated unfairly or with disrespect by a provider in the past three years.
6 in 10
LGBT adults brace for insults or are careful about how they look to be treated fairly at the doctor, at least some of the time.
KFF, 2024
21%
of LGBTQI+ adults put off or avoided needed care in 2024 out of fear of disrespect or discrimination. For trans adults it's 37%.
Center for American Progress, 2025 (NORC, n=1,703 LGBTQI+)
19%
of trans adults had to teach their provider about trans people to get adequate care.
Center for American Progress, 2025
52%
of older LGBT adults fear discrimination in health care as they age. Bisexual people are the least likely to be out in health systems.
Money and professionals
This is the gap PCN exists to close: LGBTQ+ people want professionals who already understand them, and many have been dismissed by those who don't.
74%
of LGBTQ+ investors would be more interested in working with a financial planner who is LGBTQ+. Among those without a planner, 18% say it's hard to find one who is LGBTQ+ or specializes in LGBTQ+ clients.
52% vs 24%
of LGBTQIA+ people who sought financial advice said the professional didn't take them seriously, vs heterosexual cisgender people. 47% vs 19% said they were ignored.
50% vs 30%
say it's very or extremely important their advisor understands their gender and sexual identity, vs heterosexual cisgender people.
Edelman Financial Engines, 2023
30%
experienced bias, discrimination or exclusion in financial services. For transgender respondents it's 57%.
NEFE poll, 2022 (n=1,050, opt-in)
40%
of LGBTQI+ adults made decisions about where to work to avoid discrimination. Among trans adults it's 63%.
Center for American Progress, 2025
Race, ethnicity and religion
18.8%
of Black LGBTQ+ youth are out to all of their immediate family, vs 26.4% of all LGBTQ+ youth. 81.9% are out to at least some of it. 58.6% have experienced at least one form of parental rejection.
20.1%
of Black LGBTQ+ youth are out to anyone in their faith community.
HRC Foundation, 2024
58.7%
of Latine LGBTQ+ youth have experienced parental rejection. 81.5% are out to at least one immediate family member.
41% vs 29%
of Asian American and Pacific Islander LGBTQ youth vs all LGBTQ youth weren't out to at least one parent about their sexual orientation. Among Vietnamese American youth it was 60%.
73% vs 41%
of LGBTQ vs non-LGBTQ Americans who left their childhood religion say they left because of its negative teachings about LGBTQ people. 48% of LGBTQ people who left say the religion was bad for their mental health.
72% vs 61%
of youth who had not vs had heard their parents use religion to speak negatively about LGBTQ people had come out to a parent.
Mental health and acceptance
Coming out itself isn't what causes harm. The response to it is. In the Trevor Project's words: "coming out in and of itself is not harmful to youth, at any age. Rather, it is the harmful environments."
7 / 13 / 18
Percent of trans and nonbinary youth who attempted suicide when everyone they live with respects their pronouns, when some do and when none do.
Trevor Project, 2025 survey
6% vs 18%
Suicide attempt rate among LGBTQ+ youth in very accepting vs very unaccepting communities.
Trevor Project, 2025 survey
6% vs 16%
Suicide attempt rate among youth with high family support vs low or moderate support.
Trevor Project, 2022 survey (n=33,993)
40%
lower odds of a past-year suicide attempt for LGBTQ youth with at least one accepting adult.
11% vs 24%
Suicide attempt rate among youth who came out before 13 with high vs low family support.
88%
of LGBTQ+ youth named "trusting that I know who I am" as a way people show support.
Trevor Project, 2025 survey
8.4×
more likely to have attempted suicide: LGB young adults from highly rejecting families, vs those with little or no rejection. This is a landmark 2009 California study.
Family Acceptance Project, Ryan et al., Pediatrics, 2009 (n=224)
61%
of suicide attempts among LGBQ people happen within five years of realizing they're a sexual minority.
Homelessness
28%
of LGBTQ youth have experienced homelessness or housing instability. Of those kicked out or abandoned, 40% said it was because of their LGBTQ identity.
Trevor Project, 2022 (n=34,759)
2×
LGBTQ young adults experience homelessness at more than twice the rate of their peers, and make up about 20% of young adults who report homelessness. Most became homeless through family instability that built up over time, not right after coming out.
Chapin Hall, Missed Opportunities, 2018 (nationally representative)
30%
of trans people have experienced homelessness in their lifetime.
USTS 2022, Early Insights
Coming out later in life
17%
of LGBTQ adults first told someone at 25 or older: 8% at 25 to 29, 5% in their 30s, 2% in their 40s and 1% in their 50s.
Pew, 2025 (topline)
8%
didn't know for sure they were LGB until age 30 or older.
Pew, 2013
1 in 3
older LGBT adults worried they'd have to hide their identity to get suitable housing as they age.
AARP, 2018
58%
of trans and nonbinary adults 45 and older are concerned about having to hide their identity to get housing.
AARP, Dignity 2022
14%
of first suicide attempts among older LGBQ people happened after age 41.
Williams Institute, 2021
Around the world
52%
of LGBTI people in Europe are often or always open about it, up from 46% in 2019. For trans people it rose from 39% to 54%.
EU Fundamental Rights Agency, LGBTIQ Survey III, 2024 (n=100,577, 30 countries)
54%
of LGBTI people in Europe often or always avoid holding hands with a same-sex partner in public, down from 61%. In Slovakia it's 80%.
EU FRA, 2024
65
UN member states criminalize consensual same-sex relationships, and 7 allow the death penalty. The number went up in 2025 for the first time in almost a decade.
9%
of adults across 30 countries identified as LGBT+ in 2023, including 18% of Gen Z and 4% of boomers.
In their own words
These are verbatim quotes from survey respondents, published in the reports. None have been edited beyond trims marked with "...".
I wish I would have told people sooner... I wasted too many years being afraid of my sexuality and making choices that allowed me to hide in the background of life. I was sort of a professional wallflower.
It was extremely difficult to come out to my family. I didn't do so until I was in my 30's. Thankfully, my family said they loved me no matter what. Many of my friends weren't as fortunate to have such a positive response.
It's been hard and very cleansing at the same time. The hardest part is telling old friends because they've known you for so long as your born gender. But most people are willing to change for you if they care enough.
There were two friends from my high school days who I lost after coming out to them. That was painful... Everyone else has been great, and for 40+ years I have never hesitated about or regretted being out.
What if coming out would hinder my progression at work? You never know people's agendas.
We are supposed to be able to trust our doctors. But with any healthcare for a trans person, the patient is often forced to be a teacher.
I don't want someone who is going to make me feel like I'm an 'other'. I want someone who is going to feel like they are comfortable working with me.
My partner and I constantly deal with when, where, and under what circumstances it is appropriate to be affectionate in public, such as hugging, kissing, or holding hands.
Why National Coming Out Day is October 11
1988
The first National Coming Out Day was observed on October 11, 1988. Jean O'Leary and Dr. Robert Eichberg organized it, and the date marked the first anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. The idea came out of a 1988 gathering of about 100 LGBT organizations in Manassas, Virginia.
1993
National Coming Out Day merged with the Human Rights Campaign Fund. Keith Haring created its 1988 image of a figure stepping out of a closet.
Human Rights Campaign
1978
Eichberg, a psychologist, founded "The Experience," a coming-out workshop, and later wrote Coming Out: An Act of Love. He died of AIDS-related complications in 1995. O'Leary co-founded Lesbian Feminist Liberation and co-led what became the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. She died in 2005.
Seattle Times, 1995; The Advocate, 2005